Don't kiss my boys while you're drunk.

It's nearly bedtime. Our boys are finishing up their Saturday night movie. Another volunteer just came into our house, plastered. I know she was drunk because I, like every adult here, have seen her drunk many times before. I don't mind that she's a drinker and I've compartmentalized the irritation related to her behaviours while she's drunk in such a way that it doesn't dig into me (she's far more tolerable than some of the other idiots here when they get a couple milliliters of alcohol into their systems), but Bill and I both became very, very concerned when she walked into Serengeti.

We could hear her leaving one house and approaching ours from outside. We were in our room so we walked out into the living room, just to be there while she interacted with the boys. She didn't do or say anything inappropriate; I don't know that were I 13 or 10 or 8 years old, I would have been able to identify her behaviour as alcohol-effected. I do know that she was drunk and hanging out with kids. I do know that the older boys were laughing about it, and I do hear some loose questioning going on in the living room with Bill (who is handling this quite tactfully, I must add). I do know that this has been an issue before, but apparently not an important enough one.

You see, this is a problem. This is a problem that will not be dealt with. This individual's drinking behaviour has been a topic of concern across the board. Every staff member here has made mention of it to me. But it's apparently not big enough a problem. I don't know what has to happen before someone gets reprimanded here, but interacting with the kids while inebriated seems like it should be somewhere far beyond the line one has to cross before there's some sort of intervention beyond a polite and ineffective "Soooo, we need to be careful about the drinking and the kids, okay guys?" at every third volunteer meeting. Either the Tanzanian Children's Fund people need to take action against the amount of alcohol available to the people in charge of taking care of the kids (because self-regulation is not a popular trait here), or they need to admit that they don't care about the fact that these people are interfacing with the children, the mamas, and the student teachers while inebriated. It doesn't just happen at the hotels and lodges with strangers who have word we're from RVCV. It doesn't just happen in the vans with the student teachers. It happens in the houses.

And Bill and I have no clue what to do. We've given up on telling folks about the things we see because nothing ever changes after they know. Word gets up the line somehow, sometimes, because either folks can't keep themselves under control even in the presence of staff members, or a TZ staff member or worker sees and hears things and that kind of information travels, or something. I don't know. We were told before to report the stuff that we see as inappropriate, but now, the most I will do is bitch to someone I whose judgment I trust, who may or may not happen to be on the staff. It could be an older volunteer who has made mention of similar concerns, an outside person who is familiar with the environment here, or someone actually on the staff. But I don't "report" because the message is clear that none of the volunteers' inappropriate behaviours matter.

Why didn't I ask her to leave? Because my rapport with this individual is not one that makes room for criticizing her behaviour, and as most might assume, confronting people while they're inebriated, because they're inebriated, doesn't eventuate in a seamless transition into peace. Had I asked her to get out, her pride would have been injured and an inflamed ego would have fueled too much for my kids to have to see. See, this is a setting in which the best possible situation here was to let the drunk stay with the kids. Do you understand how ridiculous that is? This is the environment I live in: where the drunks can roam where they please, drunk as they please, and I don't have the license to tell them to cut that shit out because it would be a "dick move" on my, "the judgmental bitch"'s part. People who do tell these individuals not to act in such a way don't get the back-up necessary to make the point stick, so we are easily viewed as party haters who just moodily bark our complaints out from time to time. It's obvious what the point of this place is not.

Holy shit, she's back.... That must be why Bill's been out there this whole time.

Correction: She did do and say inappropriate things. Apparently, after her return, she sat down between two of the oldest boys. She had one arm around A and was rubbing J's back with her other hand. Her legs and A's legs were sandwiched on top of each other. When I asked Bill how long that went on, he said "it was enough to make me uncomfortable... with Mole sitting on her lap, there wasn't a problem, but with the older boys, she seemed blissfully unaware that there might be a line there". Then, somewhere in there, she passed out with her head on A's shoulder. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BE DRUNK AROUND KIDS. If this were a man in a house full of girls, well, I hope something would be done about it. The misconception that women are innocuous in the inappropriate behaviour with minors category probably exists here.

That not enough? She also said to the entire room at least three or four times, "You boys need a mother." To orphans. Profound. Appropriate. Bill said he replied with "They've got a mother; they've got two mothers!" upon each allegation.

The next time this happens, I will be there with my camcorder.

Bill and I will certainly remember this place.